Scaring people gives me a thrill. I genuinely love the reactions of faces when they are scared to death. Anyone that is truly close to me has been scared to the point of tears, almost peeing or just complete mortification. I once scared Esme so bad she twisted in a circle as she crumbled to the ground as I watched with utter glee and happiness. Or the time when my mom started choking on cous cous –with each breath she drew in, another particle would lodge itself in her throat and begin another coughing attack; I was laughing so hard that she managed to (mid cough/choke) to send me up to my room.
I have a sneaking suspicion my love for frightening people emerged at a young age, when my father would do the same thing to me. Except instead of crying or being upset, I would genuinely love being scared. Sort of a wake up call saying: Hey guess what! You’re still alive! Isn’t that GREAT??
My sister and I were going up stairs together to go to bed one night when we knew the game was on because as we climbed up the stairs, there were no lights on. None in the hall, no bathroom light-nothing. We started nervously giggling and going from room to room to try and find our father, all the while hearing this weird ticking, almost like an old fashioned bomb tick noise. We didn’t dare turn the lights on because we knew some how that this funny experience would be multiplied if enveloped in darkness. As each room turned up empty, we only had one more room to inspect, and that was Hannah’s room. Curiously, the ticking noise got louder as we crept into her room, barely speaking, arm in arm. This was the clock noise straight outta Peter Pan; you know, where the alligator is taunting Captain Hook? All of the sudden, my father bursts forth from her closet, armed with an old fashioned alarm clock with bells on the top of it and it’s going off like Armageddon is upon us . I can’t even imagine what Hannah and I looked like at that exact moment, because I can only remember screaming at the top of my lungs and collapsing to the floor. After the fear subsided, I remember looking up at my father who was doubled over laughing like I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh before.
That moment was a game changer for me; anyone I know in my life that I love dearly I try to scare the shit out of, or at least gross them out somehow. I mean how the hell did he get an old fashioned alarm clock? I’ll never know the answer to that, and I don’t think I would want to know. It’s just better that way.