I've been doing a lot of self reflection as of late; (not to worry: i'm sure it's a passing fad, much like the short lived phase of my life when I wore turbans), but to become introspective once in a while I think is healthy for everyone. Why am I here? Will I be successful? Is my family proud of me? Am I being kind, honest and respectful to myself and those around me? I hope to always give myself those checks and balances, and that when I do answer that question, it will always be a resounding yes.
This blog has been a space for me to write about moments of my life (good and shitty). Since most of what I share has a light hearted nature, i have pressured myself to continue on that trajectory, yet there has been brewing within me a passion to share a little deeper, a little below the mascara, into what awakens me, striving me to be the best version of myself.
I woke up this morning dreading going to work for various reasons, called my poor father at 715 in the morning to bitch, and scooted my butt to work. (For the record, I do not make a habit of calling my parents at such early hours, but knowing that my dad wakes up at the ass crack of dawn, I figured it'd be a safe bet he'd answer without the slightest bit of sleep in his voice.) I have spent most of my day in Debbie Downer mode, mentally pouting and lamenting my life while others are out pursuing their true goals and dreams. Sniff Sniff, boo fucking hoo. I got home, opened up my absolute favorite blog and immediately got the kick in the ass I needed after he suggested to view this. Everything I wince about can be summed up in three snotty words: first world pains. Watch it: be moved. It certainly stirred something enough in me to compose a new thought here.
So. I will strive to be braver; when I do mental checks and balances moving forward, I will make sure to be kind, respectful and honest. To others, and myself.